Memory Lane....

The year was 2000. The city Seattle. I was a new college freshman at the University of Washington and living with 3 people that I knew from high school in a 2 bedroom apartment. Being an only child for such a large part of my life, living with 3 other people was definitely a new adventure. From time to time memories of that year of my life flash through my head and it is one of these memories that I thought I would share today.

We moved into a fairly new apartment complex. The location was really close to the University and as a result there were several college students in our building/floor. Since all of us were from Yakima, it was only natural that our apartment became the social center of our building. People were constantly stopping by to check in and see what we were up to. Us country boys gots mad social skills yo!

On one balmy Seattle evening my 3 roommates and I were sitting around our living room wondering where the night was going to take us. We heard a knock on the door and were glad to see our neighbor/friend, Emad. Emad was half Persian Prince and half hood hustler. He not only showed us how to dress fly and adjust our plumage to attract the hottest birds, but he also showed us how to scam department stores into giving you free Xboxes with no receipt. He was kind of our hero. He stopped by our place often, so when he knocked on our door, asked what we were up to and headed to the bathroom, we did not think twice about it.

So while we continued to debate what mischief we would be up to that night, Zac (one of the roomies) asked us a question, "Hey have you guys been using my mouthwash?"

The three of us looked at each other a little confused... "No Zac, none of us have been using your mouthwash."

Well that answer was not good enough for him, "Well I know that someone in here has been using my mouthwash because I've been monitoring the levels and it has definitely been going down quicker than I have been throwing it back."

The three of us continued looking at each other and wondered how hard times must be for Zac (whose father was a doctor and mom was a nurse) that he would be making such a fuss over a $2.99 bottle of mouth wash.

Nobody fessed up, which led Zac to pull out his big card, "Well, I've got a surprise for whoever has been using my mouthwash. I peed in it about 3 weeks ago so you have been rinsing your mouth out with my urine."

All of us erupted and were frantically trying to read each other's faces to try and get a read on the guy that had been swishing and gargling with Zac's pee. It was at about this time that Emad came out of the bathroom, wiped his mouth and asked, "Did you guys say something about the mouthwash in the bathroom?"

It turned out that Emad had made prepping himself in our bathroom before going out part of his routine for the last couple of months. And you guessed it... rinsing out his mouth was the last step of his ritual. Needless to say, he was not pleased to hear why we were all laughing so hard. The look of betrayal/confusion/disgust that crossed his face could be described as the look someone's face would have if they had walked in on their parents and then been caught in a perma-sneeze. Dry heaves could be heard shortly after Zac's big reveal.

That is not the best part though. After Emad and Zac talked out their differences and Emad was made to understand the importance of asking before putting things in his mouth, Zac had another reveal. Apparently after Zac peed in his own mouthwash, he continued to use it himself!

This latest detail brought the apartment into a raucous laughter and "no you didn'ts" that is only heard when Maury says the following phrase, "D-kwon, you are NOT the father."

Zac's "if it's yours it's sterile" argument did not cut it.

Ahhh, memories...